DO YOU WORRY THAT YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY ARE GOING TO FORGET ABOUT YOU?
In the search for everlasting life, modern man has continually scoured the realms of both science and religion looking for answers. While science and religion appear to contrast each other, both are built upon a foundation of faith, and both have failed to reveal an escape from our mortal shells. After years of personal research and experimentation, artist Jason Puccinelli has cracked the riddle of finite existence. Fusing age-old artistry with state-of-the-art technology, Puccinelli has harnessed the power to preserve, and now shares this amazing new process with the general public. On Friday, February 1st, Vital 5 is proud to present the opening of The Immortality Clinic.*
Please join us for the grand opening reception on Friday, February 1st, from 7:00 to 10:00 pm, where the citizens of Seattle may witness for themselves the wonder and death-defying acts of The Immortality Clinic. Not only will the works of Puccinelli be on display, his highly trained staff stands ready to guide you through a safe and painless transformation towards the realization of your immortal self. All visitors are welcome to inspect these new facilities, visit the pharmacy and gift shop, or pass the time in our comfortable new waiting room. For the special introductory offer of $5.00, you may have a private session with Puccinelli and his highly trained staff, and take the first step towards life everlasting.**
No appointment is necessary but we highly discourage procrastination. Life is unpredictable so take no chance with this rare opportunity. Join us in this celebration of life and discover why the fountain of youth is filled with paint.
* Jason Puccinelli is not a licensed doctor nor does he hold any formal training. Vital 5 Productions will issue no refunds or assume liability in the case of any customer dissatisfaction, including but not limited to client hair loss, sun spots and/or death.
** Five bucks doesn't provide you with the full-care immortality coverage offered by Puccinelli, or insure your immortality. It will preserve the personalized data necessary to manifest a complete immortal state, and provide a time-stamped temporary position. Please consult the Immortality Clinic's professionally trained staff for further details and financial terms regarding full coverage.